Braddah Greg | 
03 23rd, 2009| 
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Every few months, your husband/or wife announces their intention to lose weight. I used to roll my eyes, figuring they would become a health nut for a week before giving up. But sometimes when you point things out you tend to not take anything seriously. In fact, by not giving support, decreases the chances for success.
You may have experienced something similar. Sometimes it’s subtle –- an eye-roll or a sarcastic comment. Sometimes it’s more damaging, creating an environment that runs counter to what you’re trying to accomplish.
Some signs of sabotage:
- Your husband/wife brings home a seven-layer chocolate cake to celebrate your 10-pound weight loss
- They laugh when you tell them you’re going on a diet and says, “You? Stick with a diet? Good one!”
- Your partner, knowing you’re on a diet, takes you to a restaurant that only serves fried cheese and beer
- Your mother-in-law frowns when you turn down her homemade gravy, saying, “My other son-in-law loves my gravy.”
- Your mother hands you a plate of lasanga and says, “You’re too thin and I spent hours making this just for you.”
Most family members may not realize they’re sabotaging you. They may feel threatened by a thinner you or worried that your new diet and exercise habits may interfere with a life they’re comfortable with.
- Communication. Talking to your partner, the same way my husband talked to me, may be enough to make her aware of what she’s doing.
- Ask for support. People will often respond better to a request for help rather than an attack.
- Use your strength. If you can’t get support, draw on your own strength to keep going in spite of it. Keep a food and exercise journal and remind yourself of your goals. In the end, you’re in charge of your own choices. People can make those choices harder for you, but they can’t make them for you.
Have you ever had that friend who looks over your meal at a restaurant, cocks an eyebrow and says, “Are you sure you want to eat that?” We’ve all known people like that, but these people can also end up sabotaging your weight loss. Just like family members, friends can sometimes feel threatened by your weight loss, afraid that you’ll look better or that you’ll move on to a different circle of friends. They may even feel jealous that you’re changing your life and moving forward while they’re standing still.
Some things a sabotaging friend may say or do:
- You’re at a restaurant and your friend digs into a juicy burger, saying, “I don’t know how you can eat that salad. I would just die if I had to eat that all the time.”
- You mention you’re joining a gym and your friend says, “I heard that exercise can actually make you fat. Oh, you haven’t heard that? Well, I’m sure it won’t happen to you.”
- You’re at a bar and mention you’re on the wagon to lose weight. Your friend shouts, “A round of tequila shots, bartender! Hey, just one drink won’t hurt, right?”
- You’re on the way to the gym and your friend calls with an emergency. You skip your workout to help, only to find out the ‘emergency’ was not wanting to go bar hopping by himself.
Stop the Sabotage
- Have a serious chat. Like your family, your friend may not know what he’s doing. Telling him that you need his help to lose weight may make him more supportive.
- Distance yourself. If your friend doesn’t change their behavior, you may need to take a breather from them.
- Find support elsewhere. Whether it’s a support group or another friend who’s trying to lose weight, find people who are on the same page and can help you keep those healthy habits.
Some ways you might sabotage yourself:
- Having unrealistic expectations: “I should get started on my diet right now if I want to lose 50 pounds in the next three weeks.”
- Following an overly restrictive diet: “Lemon juice and cayenne pepper for every meal? Perfect!”
- Doing too much exercise too soon: “I should be able to handle exercising for two hours every day at 4 a.m., right?”
- Overbooking yourself: “400 cupcakes by tomorrow morning? Oh, heck, I can do that if I skip — well — everything.”
- Giving excuses for not following through: “I would’ve done my workout but that sock drawer won’t organize itself, will it?”
- Setting impossible weight loss goals: “My goal is to be the same weight I was before I got married and started a family.”
Stop Sabotaging Yourself
- Set realistic goals. Giving yourself permission to lose weight slowly and safely will help you focus less on results and more on the important decisions that will get you there.
- Ditch the excuses. All of us can think of some excuse for not exercising, but there are even more reasons to follow through. Spend your energy thinking of how to get yourself moving rather than how to avoid your workout.
- Give up on weight loss. Focusing on a slow-moving scale can be frustrating. Turning your attention to other, more meaningful goals, may motivate you more while helping you lose weight.
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